I have been here for four months and how do I feel you ask?

Today is Tuesday and let me say that the day went well. It is funny how I am now used to the stares that I do not think about it much anymore.  But let me say that while I attempt to avoid noticing them, other ensure that I do notice that they are in fact staring at me.  

So I walk from my house every morning to catch a taxi to go to work.  While walking this week one man called me very franticly, I looked at him to see what he wanted. This fool took his phone out and asked me to stand there while he takes a picture of me. What did I do? Of course I rolled my eye at him and walked off.  

Another incident was when I took a taxi from work to home; the driver was looking at me the whole time while he was driving.  I did not mind so much as here in Viet Nam the cars travel less than 40km/h due to heavy traffic. Once we go to my apartment, the taxi driver also took his phone camera out, attempt to take a picture of me. Once again I told him I did not appreciate it.  

 

But then yesterday I snapped at a man who kept looking at me, he walked towards me.  When he got very close to me he started raising his voice, yelling and making a scene. I had no idea what he was saying.  

But let me say that it’s not all bad.  I realize that when people stare at me and I stare back at them, they either turn away or smile. I like it when people smile as I see it as a curiosity thing then bigotry.

While I sometime know this is the case with some people, it is still a bit disturbing, especially when their curiosity leads to them touching me. … So I now have braids in right, and you know new braids hurt. Before I continue let me enlighten some of my friends…Actually what people should know is that a lot of black women, me included do not like when people touch our hair.  This dislike amplifies when I have my afro or when I have just completed new braids. Reason being? Braids hurt as hell when they are new! My afro, it’s a bitch to wash and to comb; and get it to that shape, so no, I don’t want your finger print in my hair.

So where was I? Yes, I was at a restaurant and one of the women working there came to my table and began to pull at my hair. I pulled away from her and her hand continued to follow head.  I told my colleague to tell her that I did not like her hand in my hair. He told her. She apologised for touching me, but then she continued to do so. What the? 

I was not upset at the incident, I found it funny as hell as this woman kept touching my hair although she was apologising. It was her curiosity. Hmmm, I guess now that I think about, I did not find it as funny as I thought for I have not gone back there since.   

So I have been here for four months and how do I feel you ask? Hmmm… I don’t know, I have to say that adjustment has not been easy. I love my job and like what I am doing. That keeps me around. People’s reactions are sometime offensive but I believe my ability to cope with my experience can only determine how long I will stay here.

In hindsight, I believe this should be part of the “before departure” training that organizations often provide before their employees depart for field placements.

Peace!!!  

The Visit

7/11/2012

Hi

This week was another tiring week. Hmm I need to get my energy going. On Wednesday my colleagues asked me to go visit a sick women who works in our cafeteria. Initially one colleague asked as to donate money for this woman as she is receiving cervical cancer treatment.  The amount that she asked for while it seemed like a big amount in Vietnam, it was very small in dollars, and with no hesitation I donated.

A few days later this same colleague asked us to go with her to visit the sick woman.  I was very hesitant to go. While our cafeteria is very small and there are like 5 people that work there, I did not remember the face of the women whom my colleague said was sick.  She asked me two times and both times I flat out said no without consideration. She came to ask me for a third time and without much thought I agreed to go. 

I don’t understand why I changed my mind, it puzzled me as well, and I then attempted to convince one of my colleagues to come with me.  Of course I was not successful.   On our way there, I did not know nor could I recall the face of the woman whom we were going to see.

Once I got there I saw the woman. She is a very sweet woman who always comes around to our desks and asked us for our lunch money at the end of each month. I felt a bit bad once I saw her for not recalling who she was.  That sadness came right off when she came straight to me and greeted me. 

This visit was my first invite to a Vietnamese person house. I felt very much welcome.  During the visit, the women informed us that she had been sick for a while so she went to the hospital.  The first time she went they told her that the health system was short of money so they could not get the specialist for her condition to see.  She waited for several months and went back. 

When she went back she was told that she had cervical cancer. She was informed that surgery was an option that she could take. Before I explain further, please not that Vietnam is a communist country; medical services are supposed to be practically free. However, you must also know that in such systems there is also heavy corruption. 

As previously indicated this woman was informed that surgery was an option; however she must pay some bribery fee before she can be put on the surgery list.  She said while she was not surprise about paying the bribe, she indicated that she was very much surprise about the bluntness of the asking. 

She visited a different medical facility.  There they informed her that she would require a surgery; however they were more reserve on how much bribe she would need to pay to get herself on the list.  Yes she got the surgery and paid the bribe

She also spoke of the reason why she was ill. She indicated that her family members had disturbed a sacred site and someone in that family was suppose to be punished for it.  According to her she went to two fortune teller and they both told her of this. 

I was shocked not by the story but by the fact that a person in her family’s actions are having negative consequence on her health. There are so many questions that I could have asked, however I did not such thing, only that I felt bad that she go the short end of the stick.

So back to what I was saying, I did not understand why I went to the house to visit this woman, especially when I had no intention of going. But when I got home on Wednesday the only answer that I could come up with was that I felt if I was in her position, I would appreciate if someone else visited me. 

Back in Hanoi

Hey

Last week was my first week back from vacation.  I was completely tired and exhausted, I have to admit that I was not as productive as I hope I would be at work.  Some of the days I came home early as I was so tired and drained. Attempt was made to sleep early everyday; some of the days I could not fall asleep at all.  On Wednesday I went to bed at 8pm as I was tired and falling asleep, however once I went to bed, I could not fall asleep until 3h30 am.  That was hell. 

On Thursday I came home early as I was very sleepy at work and my head was hurting me.  however, once I got home I could not fall asleep so I decided to wash my hair. While braiding my hair, my door bell rang. Who was it you asked? It was John. I was like what are you doing here? He was like well I called and you would not pick up so I thought I would come over.  I was like if you call someone and the person decides not to pick up, it means they do not want to talk to you or see you. 

We talked a bit about my disapproval of his behaviour and how I do not appreciate it. He indicated that he understood and was sorry about his behaviour. Yet I was sceptical.  Anyhow I told him I was busy and he left after our conversation.   

Socially did not do much. However, over the weekday I attend two birthday parties, one on Friday and the other on Saturday. Additionally, I braided my hair. I wanted it small, not as small as I typically get it when others do it for me. I was very excited once it was completed and I found out how small they really were.  I will not need to comb my hair for a while.  Thank goodness.